Believe In Yourself

Cherie E. Jones
Jan 19, 2023
13 min read

Updated: Feb 12, 2023

Watch your dreams come true in real time. Yes, you can make your dreams reality, do not doubt it, or yourself. One of the most important things that need to be done to realise your dreams is to believe in yourself. Believe you can do it, whatever it is that you want for yourself and your life. It’s not always as easy as it sounds, either. Life is hard, it throws things at you sometimes that you feel you can’t deal with. It’s okay to feel that way. No one is perfect, and we can’t always foresee our way through hard things immediately. Life’s struggles often take time to think through and work out what needs to be done to fix whatever has gone wrong. It’s okay if you feel like it can’t be fixed now, sometimes it takes patience and putting your problem on the back burner until you are in a better frame of mind to rethink it.

The key here is to know that somehow it will be fixed. Sometimes the solution is not exactly what we thought it would be, but if we look at it with openness and acceptance, we can see how this new way will work better. Life, or God, or the universe, or whatever you believe in, doesn’t always give us the answer that we’d wished or hoped for, but I think it’s important to trust in our chosen higher power, and our higher selves, that the answer is exactly what we needed when we needed it. When we start trusting and believing in ourselves to know what we need, the clarity we seek when solving life’s problems will often be there and will be easier to take on as well. It’s very easy to get stuck in the cycle of self-doubt and fear, but it is time to let go of our fears. We must exalt ourselves and our spirits above that vicious cycle, and truly believe that whatever we set our minds to, we can accomplish.

There are so many examples of people in this world, and in history too, who have come from horrible situations or humble beginnings, and who have persevered and followed their dreams. The truth of this is, we can look to them as examples, and admire what they have accomplished in their life, but we must realise that we have that same power inside of us. We can accomplish great things, too. The universe doesn’t pick and choose certain people to realise their hopes and dreams. The universe wants all of us to have our heart’s desire, and we each have that spark inside of us to make our dreams reality.

Suffering exists in this world, there is no doubt about that. I have had my share of deep suffering in this life. My life has been full of trauma, and man, did I hold on to that trauma. I held on to it because it was my identity to be that person who has had too much suffering, I was damaged goods, and no one would ever want me or love me. While it is true that these horrible things did happen to me, where I went wrong was letting it define who I am. I let it almost destroy me, and I couldn’t figure out for the longest time the reason I still suffered. I prayed, within my victimised mindset, and I asked the universe, why? Why am I still suffering? Why are you letting me still suffer? I don’t deserve this, I have been through enough suffering in my life, and I am in a much better place than before, but I am still suffering. I couldn’t understand that it was me causing my suffering, that it wasn’t coming from the universe, God, or a higher power. It took me a long time to work out that I didn’t have to suffer anymore.

All of that trauma, the heartache it caused me, the fear it instilled in me, the lack of trust I had for other people, the crippling insecurity I felt, all of that was the victimised mindset I had created for myself so that I didn’t have to leave my comfort zone. I knew how to suffer, I knew how to play the victim, knew it in all its intricacies, and I knew exactly how I was supposed to feel and act to stay within the comfort zone of victimhood. It was so hard to leave that behind. Happiness was unattainable, and I had accepted this, I accepted that happiness just wasn’t available to me.

These thoughts stayed with me all the time, even after many sessions of therapy and soul searching. I refused to give up thinking about the trauma I suffered in the past, and all the negative feelings and thoughts about myself, because it was all I’d ever known. For a while, I’d try to take on the practices and suggestions given to me by my therapists, but it all felt hollow and empty. It did nothing for me, meditation didn’t work, because I couldn’t quiet my mind and negative thought patterns long enough to get into the meditative state. Doing physical exercise was spotty at best because most days, I didn’t feel good, and the one time I did try to commit to eating healthier and exercising for a few months, I seemed to get nowhere. At the time, I didn’t realise what a commitment it would be to do this for myself, so that I would feel better, not just physically, but mentally as well. I didn’t believe in myself, and I didn’t truly believe that I could do it. I continued to use my trauma as an excuse to avoid everything so I didn’t have to do the work to change. Again, it was that victim mindset stopping me from making the all-important commitment to myself to get better. To be better, not just for other people, but for myself too.

I have spent years trying to get my mind and my spiritual self in order, but I wasn’t truly open to accepting the change that needed to happen. I wasn’t ready to commit. These past few years have been especially hard. Two years ago, I got Covid, and I came very close to being hospitalised with it; but I was lucky that didn’t happen, I got better, but it damaged my health long term. The next year, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and my mental health spiralled downwards. I felt so tired all the time, with painful flare-ups leaving me completely wiped out and unable to do anything. My job was becoming more difficult to do, as it requires some physical labour. I felt guilty because I was unable to do the things I used to do at home, leaving my husband to take up the slack. The worst part of it was because it’s an ‘invisible illness’, I fell under the impression that people at work, and even my husband didn’t believe that I was ill. I looked fine; therefore, I should feel fine too. It made me angry, and I started to retreat inside myself, taking my anger out on others. Then I felt guilty for taking my anger out on others. It was a cycle of despair, anger and self-pity that I would not wish on my worst enemy!

It got so bad that I started thinking about ways to end my life, I felt that my life was worthless and meaningless and that I would never be able to find enough motivation to try to make my life better. It was a difficult time for me in many ways. I began to pray, to ask my higher power to please let me come home, that life was unbearable, my life had no meaning, and I couldn’t see any reason at all why I was here. If my life had no meaning, and no purpose, what the hell was I even here for? I have always believed that we all have a purpose in this life, no matter how big or small that purpose may be, we all have one. So, this idea I had grasped onto, the idea that my life was purposeless, had been eating away at me. The cognitive dissonance was upsetting to me, and confusing me; it made me depressed and unhappy that I have gotten this far in my life without discovering my passion, my heart’s desire, and the path to my destiny. I had let fear overtake me completely, the fear that I would never do anything worthwhile with my life.

How did I change that mindset? Well, as I said previously, I have been trying for many years to get my spiritual self in order. I was raised in a religious household, so I do have a religious background. However, I always knew that the Christian, church-going mindset was not for me. I respect others’ religious beliefs, but this path was just not for me. I found it too restrictive, and in some cases, downright hateful and immoral.

So, after a lot of trial and error, I finally found my path. I still believe in a higher power, and that higher power is simple: it is pure love and wants us all to be happy. I believe that every person has access to and deserves that love and that every person deserves to be happy. I believe that, as human beings, we have a responsibility to each other to respect and love one another, and to try to help one another selflessly. This is a difficult thing to do for so many people because humans are inherently selfish. It is not easy to live this life without hate and anger, especially when someone does us wrong, or behaves awfully towards us. It is easy to react in anger, but much harder to react from a place of love.

There are those of us that are lost, wrapped up in our misery. I know from personal experience; it is so hard to break free from this attitude. The main thing I have learned is that we can’t love someone, or even help someone if we can’t love or help ourselves first and foremost. Once we can love ourselves, then we can reach out to others with the intent to truly help them. We can react with love. That was the first thing I knew I needed to do to put myself on the true path to my heart’s desire. I prayed for the strength to love myself, and to accept myself and my situation, even though I was struggling to come to terms with it.

I have always made stories up in my head, as I have mentioned in a previous post, but I never let them go anywhere. I had written some stuff in my younger years, poetry and short prose about spiritual things. So, one day, while I was bored at work, I started what I refer to as ‘daydreaming’, making up stories about situations, romance-type stuff, filled with lots of dramatic twists, making up characters and dialogue as I went. It had occurred to me briefly a few times over the years that I should try to write this stuff down, but I had convinced myself that fiction writing wasn’t in my ‘toolbox’, so to speak. I had tried to write a couple of fiction stories years ago, but they weren’t very good at all, so I thought I was no good at it and never tried again.

For the past few months, while I was going through my mental crisis, there were moments when something kept telling me to write. Sit down and write, and the words will come. I ignored that voice, for weeks I just held fast to my self-pity and derision, ignored those words, and got even more depressed. I think I knew that I should listen to that voice, but I was so wrapped up in my misery, I felt like a fraud. I thought, why would anyone listen to me? If I can’t love myself and see my self-worth, then how is anyone else going to? I carried on like this, until that day at work, as I was daydreaming my story, I told myself, I need to try to write this down. I knew that even if it was crap, at least I had tried. So, that Thursday, on my day off, I sat down, grabbed the laptop and started writing. It was a revelation. The words came so easily, they flowed through me and onto the page without much effort at all. Later that day, after working on it for hours, I read back through it and saw that it was good, and engaging, like a book that I would choose to read in my spare time. I carried on writing the next day and into the weekend, starting a word document with all of my notes about the story, going through and writing everything I could remember about my ‘daydream’. I cannot tell you how good it made me feel to completely focus on something that gave me so much joy. I realised that this, my writing, was my passion. It was the beginning of the path I had sought for so many years. It felt great to have that realised, finally, with so many false starts and soul-searching into what I wanted to do with my life.

The following week, again on my day off, I continued writing, the words coming. I had also discovered the Midjourney AI Discord and was really enjoying prompting the software and seeing what it could do. I have always loved photography, and one of my favourite things to do was photo editing; turning abstract photographs into abstract art through the use of digital editing tools and apps. I didn’t do it very often, but when I did, I enjoyed it and posted my work on Instagram. When I discovered Midjourney and what it could do, I was fascinated and got stuck in. It also gives me a lot of joy. So, I was busy with that, and with my writing, and on the Friday before Christmas, I learned that Maxi Jazz had passed away. He was an icon of the EDM movement and also a very inspiring person. I’ll share more on that in a bit.

Dimensional Metatron’s Cube | Image provided by FramePace on Etsy.

I had decided that night, that I would try again to meditate, to see if I could get anywhere with it. I settled down, got comfy in my chair, put on some music and started focusing on my oil burner that has the Metatron Cube printed on it. I went into a very deep meditative state, and slowly, I became aware of such a pure connection to my higher self and the universe; words cannot describe the beauty of it, the total peace and love and joy I felt in those moments. I was meditating and manifesting my heart’s desire and what I wanted for my life, and at that moment, I knew, without any doubt, that writing was my calling. I had so many ideas coming through, and the inspiration coming from my consciousness and the universe was so powerful. Even the music I was listening to reiterated exactly what I was thinking and feeling:

‘Break it down, build it up Stronger than before Plant the seeds, of honesty Illusions, they will fall Secrets to have and you wanted to understand Well here are the keys to the kingdom Hold out your hands And you can have it all Are you ready for change to come? Are you for miracles? If it all came down to love? Would you let down your walls? Are you ready to face the fear? Are you ready to rise above? Well, it all comes down, it all comes down to love And you can have it all’

It was such a powerful moment of synchronicity; I knew there was no way I could ignore this message. It was then that I committed, to myself, to the universe, and my higher power, a promise that I would do whatever it takes to realise my heart’s desire. No matter how much work it took, I would put my everything into this. It was what I wanted more than anything in this world, to see my dream of being a successful, published author manifested into reality.

On Christmas day, my brother sent me a link to Maxi Jazz’s last message to the world on YouTube, and his message was so heartfelt and so powerful. It hit me like a ton of bricks, because it was exactly what I need to hear, and just when I needed to hear it. This was his beautiful message, and you can also view that video message here:

‘Hi there, this is Maxi Jazz from Faithless, and this is what I want you to know about life. The same lifeforce that created the entirety of the universe is flowing through you. Meaning that everywhere the universe exists, that’s where your life exists. You are the universe ultimately, and the universe is you. Now, this knowledge requires a fundamental shift in attitude towards praying and prayer. When you pray, you’re not asking for help, or at least you shouldn’t be. You’re telling your universe what you want to see happen in your life. This works in the exact same way as press ups. One press up, or even a dozen is not going to make you strong. You have to do it every day, and not give up. Eventually, what you desire, what you want to see happen, occurs quite naturally in your life, even though at one time it may have seemed impossible. So please take it from me, whatever it is that your heart desires, whether it be a new guitar, a new job, or world peace, please pray hard and stick at it. Peace.’

I felt so inspired and motivated by his words because I knew my path had been created, and his words were the tools I needed to put my plan into action. I started writing everything down, all my hopes and plans for this path and my plans for it, my commitment to it and how I would carry it out. So, I started to pray, to manifest that all the steps I needed for this to happen would be put into place and that I would have the intuition to recognise the steps when they came along. I have been praying and manifesting every day since, and have started to carry out the actions to make the change that I need so badly to see happen in my life.

I have complete and total faith and trust in the universe that I will see my dreams realised, and that my heart’s desire will be fulfilled. Most of all, I found the courage to believe in and love myself, and to know that I can do this, I will do this, and I will put in the work to do this, every day.

I believe that we all have the ability to make our most heartfelt dreams come true. It takes faith, commitment, prayer/manifestation, and love for ourselves; but most of all it takes belief in yourself, that intrinsic knowing that you can do it. It will happen for you too: believe it.

Note: song lyrics quoted from ‘Down to Love’ by ALPHA 9 and Jonathan Mendelsohn, reprinted with permission from @AnjunaHQ Check out the video below, it’s a banger!

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With much gratitude and many thanks, blessings to you!

Believe In Yourself

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